Farewell

We had high hopes of Penelope getting out of the hospital on New Year's Eve, bags were packed and plans were made, that was until we had a scare.  We were told that Penelope had a heart murmur and it didn't sound like one of the normal ones that some babies have.  Different doctors had heard it on and off on our stay, but after the head Pediatrician listened, he was certain she had one.  

We were advised to get an echocardiogram done, that way they could be certain of the severity of the murmur.  The doctor said it was something we could get done in California, but told us because of convenience we might as well get it done while we were at Primary's.  So Tyson and I decided to stay one more night to make sure everything was okay with our baby.  

We had high hopes of getting out of there early in the morning, as time passed it didn't seem we would ever get out of there.  It turns out all of the cardiologists had the day off, seeing as it was New Years.  The nurses kept telling us they were trying to get ahold of someone.  To this point I had done a pretty good job at holding myself together.  I was so anxious to get out of Primary's, but I was also so nervous about Penelope's little heart.  I wanted everything to be okay.

I had a melt down and said a little prayer that they would be able to get ahold of a cardiologist.  As soon as I was done saying the prayer Penelope looked at me with her beautiful eyes and gave me a grin.

She was letting me know that she was alright and that everything would be okay.  Tyson came back from lunch and we decided to again say another prayer that things would work out, not minutes later the nurse came in and told us it was time for the echocardiogram.

I felt more at peace as we walked Penelope to get her ultrasound done.  It was incredible seeing her little heart beat and watching it work.  It reminded me of when I heard her little heart beat for the first time.  There is just something so amazing about that sound.

Typically on a echocardiogram they have to sedate the babies, but because of Penelope's condition they thought it would not be best.  We again prayed that she would hold still, so they could get the pictures they needed for the cardiologist to read.  I can testify that our prayers were heard and answered this day.  Penelope held so still and was able to have the procedure done in less than thirty minutes. 

We got back to our room and waited for the news.  About and hour later the resident doctor came in and told us that Penelope had a tiny hole in heart but was sure it would close up.  We have to have it monitored and if by the age of two if it is not closed up, than they will have to do something about it.  

We were so relieved that it was nothing worse.  My heart couldn't handle anymore.  After we got the results it was finally time to say goodbye.  It was a bittersweet moment as we walked out of the hospital.  We were so overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing care that Penelope received and for the tender mercies that we experienced.  

We had to take Penelope home on oxygen but it was such a small amount we felt comfortable.

I don't think Tyson and I could have been more happy to say goodbye to our little bed we had been sleeping on for our five night stay.  

We definitely learned we have one strong baby girl!

Our Little Fighter

Our sweet little Penelope had been sick for a couple of days and I noticed she wasn't making any improvements.  I called my mom 24/7 trying to see what we should do (she works for a pediatrician). My mom could hear how bad Penelope sounded through the phone and suggested we take her to the ER.  Tyson and I loaded up our little bundle of joy and made our first trip to the ER.  They had us put her in the smallest hospital gown I had ever seen.  It broke my heart.  The doctor diagnosed her with bronchiolitis.  They gave her a good suction to remove some of her mucous and sent us home with an Albuterol inhaler.  

Christmas Eve came and she was not feeling any better, so we decided to take her to the Instacare.  The doctor gave us an Albuterol treatment, through a nebulizer to take home.  We stayed home that night from all of the Christmas Eve festivities, in hopes that Penelope would start getting better.  That night she wasn't sounding any better.  It was killing me to hear her struggling to breathe and eat.  She looked so miserable.  I called my mom and she was able to get ahold of Dr. Dave, who she works for.  We also talked with our Pediatrician in Fresno and a family friends Pediatrician.  We didn't know if we should take her into the ER again or just wait it out.  It was helpful knowing we had so many doctors who were concerned and cared for our daughter.  They all advised us to stay out of the ER if we could because of all of the sick children.  They told us to watch for a fever and try and get some rest.  I was so grateful they were willing to talk with us on Christmas Eve in the middle of the night.

Christmas day came and she was still struggling.  We had plans to leave to Utah that day but didn't know what we should do.  We decided to pray if it was a good decision to still travel to Utah.  We both felt it was the right thing to do.  The trip to Utah was tough with a sick baby.  I was so worried about her, but knew the sooner we could get to Utah the better.

As soon as we pulled into Heber my mom ran us over to her office to check her SAT's.  She immediately said she needed to be on oxygen.  I was starting to get more worried.  That night she hardly slept and whimpered all night.  We all were heart broken.

The next morning Dr. Dave took a look at her and ordered a Rx for her to get her nose suctioned at the hospital.  He wanted to see how she did throughout the day to see if she needed to be admitted to the hospital or not.  They took a chest X-ray at the hospital and thought she had pneumonia and an ear infection.

Later that day we decided to take her to the hospital to get suctioned because we could hear how congested she was.  Once the RT took a look at her chest, he told us she was really struggling to breathe and it would be a good idea to admit her.  He spoke with Dr. Dave and after talking with us he thought it would be best to take her to Primary Children's Hospital.  He ordered an ambulance and called ahead to get us in.  Tyson and I couldn't believe what was happening to our little girl.  We both were having a really hard time, that is when my brother-in-law Jordan and my sister showed up to the hospital.  Tyson, Jordan and Dr. Dave were able to give Penelope a sweet blessing before she got in the ambulance.  It was such a tender moment.  I have never been more grateful for the priesthood than I was at that moment.

Penelope did great on the ride down the canyon.  I was so happy that I was able to be by her side.  As much as I hated that she was going to the hospital, I knew that Primary Children's Hospital was the best hospital and that she would be in great hands.  The paramedics were so kind.  I wanted to reach out and give each one of them a hug.

We arrived to the hospital and they immediately checked her SAT's.  They gave her an IV and did some blood work.  She came out positive for RSV and after looking at her chest X-ray her pneumonia turned out to be a collapsed lung.  They informed us that she was going to need to be put on a high flow oxygen and admitted into the PICU.  We had no idea she was that bad.  They put her on 6 liters of oxygen and watched her very closely.

Walking through the PICU for the first time was so hard for me, seeing all of those babies struggling for their lives about did me in.  Once we got into the room a swarm of doctors evaluated Penelope.  They were all so kind and made us feel safe.

We luckily only had to spend one night in the PICU because they were able to turn down the high flow oxygen to 5 litters.  She also started to eat again.  We were worried a couple of times that she was going to have to have a feeding tube.  

We were so excited to go to the third floor.

We definitely missed our nurse Chad.  He was amazingly sweet to Penelope.  It did my heart good.

After being in the regular room for a while, she was able to have her IV removed and get a bath.

Each day they have been working on suctioning her less and turning down the high flow of oxygen.  We had many family and friends fast for a quick recovery on Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday we were able to see that smile of hers, it had been awhile.  We knew she must have started to feel better.

We woke up Sunday morning to the doctors and nurses saying how amazing she sounded and how great her scores were.  She had made drastic improvements.  It was such a special day for us at Primary's.  We were able to attend a branch that was here in the hospital.  It was the most spiritual sacrament meeting I have ever been to.  The spirit was so strong in that room.  It was so hard to look around and see sick children and wonder what each parents child was in the hospital for.  I had an overwhelming feeling that this is what the atonement is for.  I knew that our Savior loved each of his children insurmountably.  The music touched my heart deeply and strengthened my testimony even more.

Many prayers went out in behalf of Penelope and we felt them being answered.  Each day Penelope has continued to make improvements.   

We have adored each doctor and nurse.  Penelope's nurse Tammy was great.  She called Penelope her little butter ball.

Many of our family and friends came to visit.  I was so happy they got to meet Penelope.  It wasn't in the circumstances I had hoped for, but that was alright with me. 

We were originally supposed to bless Penelope last Sunday, so Tyson's parents were actually in Salt Lake.  It ended up being a huge blessing.  We have appreciated their visits so much.  They have allowed us to go eat and get a break from the hospital.

My mom has also been so good to us.  She has packed us snacks and brought us a clean pair of clothes almost every day.

I woke up this morning and noticed they had changed Penelope from the high flow oxygen to the regular flow in the middle of the night.  I was so happy.  They told us that she might even be able to go home tonight, depending on how many times she has to be suctioned.  

We have definitely had many tender mercies as we have been here at the hospital.  My heart has become more tender and has such a deeper appreciation for doctors and nurses who give of their time to help so many.  I look around and realize our stay here has been so minimal compared to others.  My heart goes out to those families.  Primary Children's is such a special place.  The spirit is so strong and you just know the Savior is in your midst.

Our trip to Utah was different than we had planned.  I am learning more and more every day, that that is just how life goes and it is up to us to smile anyways.  We must find joy even when things don't turn out as we planned.  The lord sees the whole picture and blesses us along the way.  

People even strangers have been so kind to check on our baby.  We truly appreciate every prayer that has been offered.  It makes me want to be a better person and be there for others when they are going through the hard times.

I am grateful for my sweet baby girl and the lessons she continues to teach me!