Notes From Nessa

Wednesday, April 17

Amazing Experiment

Encompassed all of the emotions I have been feeling lately.

This is such an amazing experiment!

Tuesday, April 16

Yesterday was a difficult day to be a mom. I have noticed such a change in the way things effect me since being mom. My heart has completely softened, almost so much that I am a big puddle on the ground most of the time. I feel so much more deeply. I cry when others cry, embrace others joys more, and love so much deeper than I ever thought possible. I am sure as time goes on my heart will only continue to grow.

I was laying in bed nursing Penelope yesterday afternoon. As I began scrolling through my instagram feed, I noticed a picture with a caption talking about an explosion at the Boston Marathon. I immediately turned on the news. Now thinking back, I don't know if I was ready for what I was about to see. I saw things I wish I hadn't. I sat there in tears as I watched the horror of the Boston Marathon explosion. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing. What an amazing day turned upside down for so many.

As my day continued on, I looked at instagram yet again. Images of a young girl and words stating she had gone missing yesterday, filled my feed. My heart became heavy as those parents worst nightmare came true. It made me want to keep Penelope by my side at all times and never let her out of my sight. Although I know this is impossible, I thought about how I could make it possible.

I held Penelope a little closer to me. I am not going to lie, I let fear seep into my heart for a moment. I wondered how I was going to raise this perfect little angel in this horrible world. I was so scarred for what is to come. But then I remembered, I have the gospel and know that if I cling to that knowledge, my little family will be okay.

This quote by Mr. Rogers helped me feel a little better, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."

This is so true! You can always find good in the world and so many great people. I just have to remember this.

Last night I cherished every minute with my little family. Our nightly routine seemed so much more than just that. I embraced Penelope and kissed her so many times. I tucked her into bed and thanked my Heavenly Father that I had her safe in my home with me.

Tyson held me close as we went to bed. I again was in tears. There is something so comforting and safe about those arms of his. I pray and think about all those effected by yesterday tragedies. I hope that little girl is found and those who were effected by the bombings will be able to have their hearts healed.

Friday, April 12

A Little GiGi Love

I realize most of my posts have been about the sweet little nugget of mine. I can't have my other girl GiGi feeling neglected.....

It was fun to put together this video of my little doodle.

Hope you enjoy!

Balance

I am sure every new mother struggles with the word balance. There are so many new things to add to your plate. I have had a really hard time trying to find the time to do the wash, mop the floors, vacuum the carpet, wash the car, cook dinner, fold the laundry, put away the laundry, feed the dog, take the dog on a walk, remember to give GiGi her medication, change the sheets, make bows, read my scriptures, eat healthy, brush my teeth for heavens sake, all while wanting to spend every last second with my sweet baby and loving husband.

While I was busily trying to upload a video this morning on the blog, I looked down to see Penelope almost rolling over, from back to front. I would have been so mad at myself, if I had missed this big milestone because I was too busy worrying about mundane things.

Social media has defiantly come a long ways from when we were younger. I don't remember ever seeing my mom on her phone. I still don't really see her on her phone. I blame it on the old flip phone, that she still has. But I really think there is some advantage to the good old brick cell phones. You know the ones that could only call, text, and play snake on them. There was no internet at the tips of your fingers. There was no access to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or Blogger. You used your phone for one purpose only and that was to communicate with others.

As I was listening to conference this past weekend the main thing that stood out to me was putting down the phone. I will admit I am a total addict. As if you didn't already know this. It really started when I was trying to stay awake in the middle of the night nursing Penelope. I didn't want to dose off, so I found myself perusing the internet for long periods of time. It would take her almost 45 minutes to finish nursing. I also would watch series on Netflix. These were honestly the only things to keep me from not falling asleep.

One of the talks touched on using social media for the good and to bear testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. While the internet and other outlets can be used for good, I also have seen the negative effects. I am completely at fault for this. I am sure I have missed out on a good conversation with my husband or moments just snuggling my baby, because I am glued to the dang phone. I am sure I have waisted countless hours on the internet. I have also noticed kids these days with ipads at church and around the dinner table. What happened to meaningful conversations and quiet books at church.

Tyson and I have had many discussion about teaching our children how to sit still without having some other form of distraction. I know that it is easier said than done, but I think it is important. I need to be the example of this. I can't expect my kids to do it, if I don't do it myself. This past week I have really tried to not check my phone constantly. I still have a long ways to go.

I have found that the most fulling days are the days when I wake up early and get the house cleaned. I make time to exercise and get completely ready for the day. I make my family a good dinner and spend quality time holding and playing with Penelope. There is a time and a season for all things and I am going to make sure that I don't let these sweet moments with my little one pass before my eyes.

I hope I can learn how to simplify and really focus on being in the moment. Time passes to quickly and I hope to cherish every second with my little bean.

Any advice on what has worked for you, would be awesome!