This past month has been quite the whirlwind for us. It has been a month of craziness mixed with change. I have always seemed to be able to handle change/hard things with an eternal perspective, however this month I found myself on my knees a lot as my heart has been filled with questions and sometimes doubt.
Tyson and I were so excited to almost be announcing my pregnancy. I would be around fourteen weeks today. This all came to a halt a few weeks back when I went in for an ultrasound and we could no longer see the baby or hear the heartbeat. My heart sunk as it was confirmed what I had been feeling all along, that something was just not right.
My doctor told me that I would probably miscarry in two to three days, but if I did not that I would have to have a D and C. That week was a very low week for me. I kept praying that it would happen on its own, so that I wouldn't have to have surgery. I did end up having to go in for a D and C, which was nerve wrecking and hard for me.
I knew I had to change my attitude on the situation. I knew that if I allowed myself, I would become angry or upset. I had to remember that everything in my life has always worked out. I had to remember all of the tender mercies that have been granted to me along the way, of missing my dad and the daily blessings that I receive. I had to trust that this was in the Lord's hands and that when the timing is right, Tyson and I will be blessed with a baby.
I came across a couples of scriptures that helped heal my heart in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecution, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I know God has a plan for me and that if I put my faith and trust in him all things will work together for my good. I was reminded of the truthfulness of these things as Tyson and I said goodbye to our first house together. Yes, I did shed a couple of tears. What a blessing it was to be able to have that home. Inside those walls rest great memories.
We are all moved into Tyson's parents house now. We returned back to were it all started. This time with so much more stuff. I really don't understand where it all came from. We have some of our things in storage, some out in Tyson's dad's garage and some in our room. I did however, enjoy dejunking. One of my favorite things to do.
Our house has made a lot of progress in the past few days. It has been fun to watch the change that is made overnight.
It feels good to have all the packing and unpacking done for now. I am back to teaching Zumba and back to my everyday cravings of sweets. Tyson and I enjoyed the weekend by going to the Fresno Home Show. This is one things I look forward to every year. The cinnamon rolls are to die for.
I always loved watching the dogs jump of the ramp into a huge pool. Don't worry that I convinced Tyson to sign Gigi up for next year.
I am looking forward to the new things to come, ready for whatever comes our way. I know that no matter what change is a part of life, without it we wouldn't have the opportunity to grow and to become more like Christ.