Mama

I have been a little under the weather today.  In the past this wasn't a big deal.  I would just come home from work crawl into my comfy bed and try to sleep it off.  Being a mother has changed things.  I still have bad days, get sick, have loads of laundry calling my name, have a house that needs keeping up on, and a list of other things to do.  The difference is, I have a little one to take care now.  There is no pause button on her needs.  Her needs will always come before mine and I am alright with that.  Who would have thought one tiny little human could rule the world, my world.  
I see my selfish side slowly pulling away from my skin as if a sculpture is scrapping the clay from around me and revealing layers underneath my skin, that I didn't know existed.  I am exhausted, yet more alive then I ever thought possible.  My heart has expanded to lengths I never knew possible.  I love deeper and see things more clearly than ever before.  Being a mother has broken me down, yet built me up so much higher.  I cry more and laugh more often.  Being a mother is something I always looked forward to.  It was the one stage of life I couldn't wait to arrive.  Now I am here.  I catch myself looking at Penelope and wonder how I got so lucky to be the one she calls mama.  Her smell, her laugh, her smile, and voice have become the fuel that gets me through my day.  She was just what I needed.  Heavenly Father knew I needed her.  She gives me so much more than I could ever give her.  I may never again get another full nights rest, but I wouldn't trade it for a thing.  I pray that I can be all that she deserves.

 via pinterest

 via pinterest

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” -unknown

 via pinterest

via pinterest 

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."

 - Linda Wooten

via pinterest 

 via pinterest

 via pinterest

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind.” 

- Howard W. Hunter

via pinterest

I have such a deep appreciation and admiration for my own mother, who selflessly gave and continues to give me so much.  She taught me and helped me become who I am today.  Everything I do and am is because of her.  She is the one person I go to for wisdom on a daily basis.  She is wise beyond her years and has more strength than any other woman I know.  She has allowed me to cling to her side throughout the years and has given me wings to find my own path through motherhood.  I can still hear her voice as I baking in my kitchen, tiding up around the house, rocking Penelope to sleep, and folding countless pairs of socks.  She never gave up on me and continues to cheer me on.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The women existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is absolutely something new."

-unknown

I love this new stage of life and hope to flourish in all that it is teaching me.  It's rewards and blessings are insurmountable.