I knew St. Patrick's Day was just around the corner and had a few plans to make the day a little more special than the rest. The day came quicker than I had anticipated, which left me with no such aspirations. I thought I could whip up some rainbow pancakes and call it good, but again the time got away from us and before we knew it, it was time for dance class.
P is still so young and doesn't have any expectations. I took this year off and felt pretty good about it. While scrolling through my Instagram feed, I saw happy kids with their bowl of Lucky Charms, green eggs and ham, green milk, green toilet bowls, corned beef and cabbage, gold candy and so much more. I decided to not blink an eye and pat myself on the back for still be a good mama and knowing that my girls didn't mind either way.
Sometimes life can be so overwhelming, trying to keep up with others and their said pace. We are all going at different speeds, just trying to make it to that end goal. Some people are running, even sprinting, while others like myself, are just trying to put one foot in front of the other. As this new year continues forward, I am trying every day to eliminate the things that are causing my load to seem heavy or that incline a little too steep for me to climb. Most of the things that have caused this fatigue have been self induced. Trying to find the balance has been the hardest part. While I know we all need resistance at times to make us stronger, we also need to allow ourselves to come off that incline long enough to recoup and come back feeling energized ready to tackle that next hill ahead.
I decided to take a break from photography and while I wavered back and forth on the decision, I knew in my heart it was the right one. I felt any free time that I had was spent with my eyes glued to the computer screen. The amount of anxiety and heaven burden I felt was too much to bear anymore. I started my photography business for a fun little hobby and it soon turned into me taking on too much too quickly. I have the hardest time saying no. I wanted to please everyone around me and was leaving no time for me. I soon discovered that if mama isn't happy, no one is happy.
I will still be taking on small sessions every once in awhile. I don't want to say a set number, because last time I did that, I still got ahead of myself. I have the tendency to put my entire heart into everything I do. It's a good and bad thing. More than anything it usually causes me to burn out. It's all a learning game for me right now.
I'm hoping with some more free time I can spend it taking more pictures of my girls. They are the reason I picked up a camera in the first place. This time with them will go by so quickly and I don't want to miss a minute with them. There is a time and season for all things and right now, with much prayer and many tears I know where I need to be.
I wasn't planning on going into all of that, but that's where I am right now. Last night when Tyson got home from work we put the girls in their matching pj's and took them out back to enjoy this gorgeous spring weather. I decided to pull out the water colors I had been saving for the special moment. Last night felt right. P was in heaven. She has such a love for trying out new things. I can't get enough of watching her light up each time she tries something new. The enthusiasm for each color was unreal. She is so meticulous in every stroke.
The best part was when she decided to kick back and just enjoy painting. This little girl teaches me so much about life.
^^^ Miss Lucy girl being as sweet as ever. ^^^
This little family of mine is so precious and I feel so blessed to be the mama of this crazy bunch. I'm taking one day at a time and learning to let go and enjoy the ride. Here's to more stress free days than not and lots more time with my family!
Hope you had a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!