Life With A Newborn

I can't believe little Lucy has been with us for almost three weeks.  Where does the time go?!  The days seem to be flying by.  Anytime I am going through a rough patch, I have to remind myself that this newborn stage only lasts for so long.  I am so in love with my little newborn.  Her skin smells so yummy and is silky smooth, her hair is fluffy and soft, she has the tiniest feet, has two adorable dimples that match her daddy's, looks so cute even when cross eyed, loves her hands by her face, her favorite spot is right on my chest where she can hear my hear beat, she strongly dislikes taking a bath and having her diaper changed, has the chubbiest arms and meatiest thighs, and adds so much love and joy to our home.

Breastfeeding with Lucy has been very difficult.  I don't know if it is just me or my babies, but breastfeeding does not come easy.  You can read all about my struggles with P HERE.  I thought this time around everything was going to go smoothly.  I figured I was a veteran when it came to being breastfeeding mama, especially after everything I went through with P, turns out I was wrong. 

My milk came in on day two, which was amazing.  I wouldn't have believed my eyes had it not been for the poor engorgement stage.  Lucy was able to latch on great, which was also amazing!  I thought we were going to have this one in the bag.  At the beginning things were going pretty well in the hospital, but as soon as I became engorged she was unable to latch on.  The lactation specialist brought out the dreaded shield.  I wanted nothing to do with that, but wanted whatever was going to be best for Lucy.  I ended up having to pump, because I had so much milk.  Between the pumping and the shield I was able to get her to nurse.  

Each morning our pediatrician would come in to check up on Lucy's weight.  She was loosing more and more weight as the days went on.  My pediatrician was concerned and advised me to nurse her every two hours for the next day, otherwise we were going to have to supplement.  I set my alarm and nursed her every two hours as advised.  I was extremely stressed and wanted everything to just work out.  I wasn't ready to go through what I did with P.  I said a prayer and went to work.  The next morning Lucy had put on enough weight to not have to receive supplementation.  I was so relieved. 

We went home with the shield and I hoped for the best.  As soon as we got home I noticed Lucy having some problems with swallowing.  Each time she would nurse she would choke, turn bright red, sometimes purple, and scream.  My let down was and is sometimes too much for her to handle.   I felt terrible.  She would get so warn out, that she would only eat on one side, which led to me getting mastitis.  She was also wanting to eat every hour to two hours during the night, because she wasn't getting full enough.

I was advised to pump a little before hand or nurse reclined to make things easier on her.  Unfortunately my pump hasn't arrived in the mail yet, so I have been left to use a hand pump.  Each time I nursed I dreaded it, I figured I would try the bottle and see if that would help.  Unfortunately she choked just as bad with that.  The milk would just drip all down her face.  I started to become extremely frustrated and sad.  I was trying to do something good for my baby and was having no such luck, on top of trying to deal with P going through a hard time without her mama's complete attention, all while recovering from the c-section.  My back started to ache and I was at a loss.  

Tyson gave both Lucy and me a blessing.  I really didn't know what else to do.  The pediatrician said she will grow out of it, but can't give me a time frame.  I have had plenty of melt downs on the phone with mom.  Just venting to her has helped so much.

Last night was the first night she slept for four hours between feedings, didn't need the shield and ate on both sides.  It was a tender mercy.  She is back to struggling this morning, but just that extra amount of sleep has made all the difference.  

I'm not sure how long this will last or how much longer I will last, but I am going to continue pressing forward.  I will continue to try and not get discouraged.   I'm not sure what other options I have.  If any of you have any advice or have dealt with the same thing, I would love to hear from you.  In the mean time I will continue snuggling and adoring our new bundle of joy!