Wednesday, August 13


Monday I celebrated my 29th Birthday!  I can't believe it's my last year in my twenties.  I still feel like I'm 18.  I was spoiled by my family and friends.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people.  Each person in my life, has helped mold me into who I am today.  I like to think I have come a long ways.  I can only hope that I continue to improve.

It's amazing how time changes things.  Not only in a physical way, but also spiritually and mentally.  I feel like I am finally starting to get the hang of things.  I am a slow learner, but am thankful for everyone who has been patient with me and allowed me to grow.

When I first moved to Fresno, I was miserable.  I had the HARDEST time adjusting to my new life.  I felt like I lost a part of me when I moved and was afraid I was never going to be the same.  While I loved my husband so much, all I wanted to do was get in my car and drive back home.  I fell into a dark place.  I had all of the expectations of how I thought life was going to be.  I expected everyone to welcome me with open arms and know just what to say to make me feel better.  I was beyond negative and didn't want to be around anyone.  There were a lot of tears shed and an emptiness in my stomach.  I didn't want to believe anyone when they said things would get better and I would actually come to like the Central Valley.  I put a wall up and didn't allow anyone to see the real me.  

For our one year anniversary Tyson got me GiGi.  She literally saved me.  I finally felt like I had something that was all mine and she needed me as much as I needed her.  My sadness got soaked up by her fluffy hair and spunky personality.  Things didn't change immediately with my attitude towards everything else, but it sure helped heaps.  

Tyson knew I still wanted to be back in Utah.  He finally gave into the idea of moving back.  We decided to pray about things.  Not long after praying about the situation, I knew we were meant to be in Fresno.  I had to fully put my trust in the Lord and move forward with my answer.  The Lord has never steered me wrong and I had to put my faith in him that this time would be no different.

Time has definitely worked in my favor.  I have come to love where I live and adore the people that surround me.  I have realized that my happiness shouldn't be dependent on other people.  It's up to me to be happy no matter the situation.  Everyone is different and has different personalities.  For the most part, everyone is doing the very best that they can.  I have learned to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  It has taken time, but not being easily offended has been something I have worked on.  I try to express fewer negatives and look for the positive in every situation.  Being bitter and holding grudges only hurt me. 

Finding new things and hobbies really helped as well.  Photography had never even crossed my mind before I had moved here.  I decided it was something I could put my focus on and really grow.  I also got certified to teach Zumba.  I loved and continue to love seeing the transformation in my students.  Each one of them has made me better.

Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect.  I know that I have so much more growth ahead of me, but am grateful to look back and see how far I have come.  

Life is pretty amazing and I can only hope I am learning all that I am intended to.  Hopefully I will be blessed with many more years to learn and grow.  Having an amazing and supportive husband, who is my shining example really helps.  Being a mother continues to break me down and brings me to my knees more often than not, but I love every minute of this new role. 

So here's to my last year in my twenties.  I am surely going to give it all that I've got!
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1 comment:

  1. You're amazing Janessa!! Fresno is hard even for me to really love and my whole family is close by! Happy late Birthday!